State of Insomnia

I’m an insomniac 
Tormented by this reality, 

where innocent smiles are nothing but façades of murderous grins.

Old enough to not be scared

Yet still I am afraid of bed time stories,

For they turn out to be nightmares.

And the lullaby’s you hear sounds like an episode of beetle juice lost in auto tunes,

A remake of Beethoven’s Scary masquerade.

Tired of these Insomnia’s 

I really need to get some rest.

But,how can I sleep knowing that I will be waking up to the horrific news

Of lifeless bodies laying in the streets,

Be it close or in some remote location 

I have yet to discover.

I never believed in fairy tales 
Given the trajectory of the  times I wish I had,

This may seem girly but I wish

I was Alice in wonderland or perhaps Dorothy in the wizard of Oz.

A click of my heels would take  me to an utopian home

As chaotic as things are I have to deal with this mentally derange zone,

A zone where everyone is suffering from some kind of sleepless hypnosis.

As madness and lawlessness roam free

Sporting faces of glee.

© Xavier J. Frazer 2016

Book Announcement

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Good day,

Fellow poet’s and bloggers sorry I’ve been a little bit absent, reason for that I have been working on my first book which will be a compilation of the poems you already know through my blogging here. Along with several other ones you have yet to read. I do hope you guys will continue to support me as you all have already been doing.  I wholeheartedly appreciate all the feedback that you guys have provided for it as contributed to my growth as a writer and I thank you all for that. So I hope your as ready and excited as I am for this book. I will let you guys know when it’s available so stay tune.

Lifeless

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She waits tirelessly for you
Led on by the false hope
that you reassure her by
She’s covered in scars
Scar’s that can’t be seen by the naked eye
She knows pain
excruciating pain
She’s battered and bruised by your lies
To the fact that she hides from the truth
Her heart its shattered beyond  recognition
Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually
you tore her down
There’s no relief for the hurt she feels
Anaesthetic is useless when her soul is lifeless

Chaos Of The Mind

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The hardest part about living is going through life not knowing who or what I am meant to be,
I keep trying to live up to people’s expectations of me,
For some I am a friend, a motivator, an inspiration or perhaps a
beacon of hope.
So many effort put into crafting and discovering myself just to end up lost,
In a time paradox of a multi complex universe
where dreams materialise and small corporations turn in to franchise,
Misled by a delusional illusion of my mind
Like the fact that the blood beneath my skin is blue and once it hits the open air it becomes red.
As if that wasn’t already a burden,
I am left to travel along this weary path with confused souls who are like ticking time bombs with very short fuses,
This is not your ordinary muse,
I am just an average guy who refuses to be conformed, contorted by this reality with no surety of what lies in the next.
It’s just a hit, smash or pass situation causing unwanted frustration,
Disguised in an awkward mobo jumbo of black and white complications
Where my sanity is a mess and is in need of constant sanitisation.
They say a beautiful mind is attractive,
How can I see the beauty of mine, when it’s in complete chaos?

The Drums

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Can you hear them?
I hear the drums
I hear the drums
The beat
The tempo
The rhythm
The vibrations
I hear the drums
As they serenade my soul
And a silhouette they perform in my consciousness
I hear the drums
The tap
The knock
The swish
The swap
I hear the drums
Through them the voice of the ancestors speaks
As running feet carry the message from this corner to the next
I hear the drums
As I see the perplexed looks on your faces
You don’t hear what I hear
I hear the drums
If you listen more attentively you too will hear
The melodious connotations of the drums.

Dear Father

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I wish I could say I love you
And actually mean it,
I hope your day is filled with misery.
I hope as you see my face,
Your organs begin to collide and the space between your lungs become clustered,
You are unable to breathe
and in those moments,
I will forget your face.
Father after you read this,
I hope it gets worse and
if your soul yearns for happiness,
I hope you remember,
I was the first step
when you chose to skate.
Last time we spoke,
You said “I am an ungrateful,
Good for nothing, son of a bitch.”
Who the fuck gave you that right?
If I am from you,
Do we not share that “son of a bitch”gene?
Am I not the blood that runs in your veins?
Was that what you really wanted to say?
You should’ve asked your self these questions,
“Where was I when my son needed a father?”
“Where was I when he became a man with two daughters?” Trying not to make the same mistake I did.
Father when I needed you
You needed yourself,
A clear illustration of selfishness.
I had to learn from a woman,
what it meant to be a man.
Not to say something
is wrong with that
But, she, she fathered me,
I bet you think I would say,
“It was just not the same”
Indeed, but better.
She taught me what makes a man, a man
And how to fend for myself
After, i realised.
That you did not deserve to be called a man,
You are a coward in the eyes of the brave,
A faceless creature of the night.
Father can’t you understand
You are as much as a failure
As you wished to see me be,
But, I learnt the art of becoming.
And that,
I was blessed with the soul of a survivor,
the black skin of a warrior
And you,
You are nothing to me.
But,
A dead beat father
A sperm donor
An absentee loner.
I am nothing like you,
The fact that I happen to share your last name,
Is a big misdemeanour,
With that being said,
Just call me Xavier.