Dear Father

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I wish I could say I love you
And actually mean it,
I hope your day is filled with misery.
I hope as you see my face,
Your organs begin to collide and the space between your lungs become clustered,
You are unable to breathe
and in those moments,
I will forget your face.
Father after you read this,
I hope it gets worse and
if your soul yearns for happiness,
I hope you remember,
I was the first step
when you chose to skate.
Last time we spoke,
You said “I am an ungrateful,
Good for nothing, son of a bitch.”
Who the fuck gave you that right?
If I am from you,
Do we not share that “son of a bitch”gene?
Am I not the blood that runs in your veins?
Was that what you really wanted to say?
You should’ve asked your self these questions,
“Where was I when my son needed a father?”
“Where was I when he became a man with two daughters?” Trying not to make the same mistake I did.
Father when I needed you
You needed yourself,
A clear illustration of selfishness.
I had to learn from a woman,
what it meant to be a man.
Not to say something
is wrong with that
But, she, she fathered me,
I bet you think I would say,
“It was just not the same”
Indeed, but better.
She taught me what makes a man, a man
And how to fend for myself
After, i realised.
That you did not deserve to be called a man,
You are a coward in the eyes of the brave,
A faceless creature of the night.
Father can’t you understand
You are as much as a failure
As you wished to see me be,
But, I learnt the art of becoming.
And that,
I was blessed with the soul of a survivor,
the black skin of a warrior
And you,
You are nothing to me.
But,
A dead beat father
A sperm donor
An absentee loner.
I am nothing like you,
The fact that I happen to share your last name,
Is a big misdemeanour,
With that being said,
Just call me Xavier.

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9 thoughts on “Dear Father

  1. I highly agree with Elusive^
    I’m certain this is a topic that is very hard for you, and I know that I can not try to relate the loss of a father. But I do understand the loss of a person who meant everything.

    But, I found strength through my HEAVENLY Father. Because he is SO much better than the one here on earth. You’re father in Heaven has named you his Son, pride and joy, and prince. He is a Lord and King after all.

    Poetry allows you to express these feelings that you wouldn’t know how to any other way. Again, this was AMAZING and extremely heartfelt. I congratulate you on your two girls. And hope they see an AMAZING father through you.

    Best of Luck and Love,
    H.E.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. As I am sure he feels guilty… beyond imagination. And you have every right to be mad and angered, those are after all God-given emotions, I do hope that you learn to love and understand why he left.

        My Grandparents ( three sets) are NEVER around, I’m trying to learn how to love them even with the fact that I wish they would just leave me alone and never say hello again.♥
        Best of Luck and Love,
        H.E

        Liked by 1 person

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