DIED LIVING

Some days it feels like the walls are closing in

No one hears or listens to the pain I am in,

I wonder if I am cursed or perhaps I have committed an unholy sin.

Always tethered to take the loss,

Not even one chance at winning.

It’s hard to keep my thoughts in check

When all I do is overthink,

My mind always has it foot on the accelerator.

People who I thought would’ve held me down,

Tend to be the ones who has an hold of the knife in my back.

I can’t even breathe a breath of fresh air

the atmosphere of toxicity,

Is all that I live in.

Striving to live, yet still I am struggling,

Needing help but no fucks giving.

In this hell hole I keep sinking,

Quicker than quicksand.

I am dying to live.

Still, I have died living!

©️Xavier J. Frazer

LOVE EPIDEMIC

I survive everything meant to destroy me,

Yet, you’re the one I couldn’t avoid.

Like a victim, ailing from COVID-19

I have quarantine this pain,

Isolating all these disoriented emotions.

Like David vs Goliath,

I had to fight your giant of a love;

Though it appears I have won this battle,

It turns out I have lost the war.

You sold me a dream,

Then delivered me a nightmare.

You’ve acquired a front-row seat to my suffering,

Only thing remaining is my inevitable death,

And I can see the changes.

So much that I don’t face myself in the mirror,

Being Stephano DiMera;

Our situation was young and restless,

I felt like Bo from days of our lives,

I thought I would never lose Hope.

Being around you was the source of my strength,

Of late it felt like you’re kryptonite;

My weakness.

Fatigue taking over,

I hallucinate on the hour.

It feels like I am being persecuted by an unjust love,

Tortured by a heart that gave you its trust;

And I am at war with my whole being,

For nothing works in accordance with each other.

Now, the future I saw in your eyes,

As become this cursed reality I have to live by.

I wanted us to chase the stars together,

Using their connection to lasso the moon,

I am left to watch them go up in flames.

I blame myself,

I shouldn’t have given you more than your weight.

Now, the burden is overbearing,

And I am left in this miserable state.

©Xavier J. Frazer