ONE THE INSIDE

Sometimes I wish I knew how to un-fuck myself,

When I say this I am not talking about sex.

Some day’s I am feeling myself,

Then there are those days when I feel nothing.

It’s like being trapped in a place where my thoughts are overbearing,

the weight of the world is nestled on my head,

I have no strength to carry it.

No matter how strong my appearance seem,

All I want to do is pull my hair out and scream.

Nothing makes sense as I clench to what little sanity I have left.

Anxiety holds me captive,

Not as a patriot, but more like a POW.

Between myself and depression a war brews,

I always end up being the casualty.

I come bearing smiles but my body is scarred beyond recognition,

And my soul is like a scared child,

Longing for just a hug or a warm smile.

No one knows the terror I am tormented with,

If they do they still don’t care.

By the things, I do I am classified as being weird.

I kill myself trying to fit in with a crowd that does not need me,

Myself kills me for indulging.

I can’t remember one past time of a happy memory,

Everything reminds me of the cuttings.

Many books decorated with suicide notes.

When I think about it all,

My whole being has always felt like it’s an encampment for little demons;

They are always raging wars.

Still, when I look in the mirror I see true beauty,

I don’t see this person,

I don’t see that person.

I see only me.

©Xavier J. Frazer

I REMEMBER

I’d once thought of love as fragrance
that produces a long lasting aroma,
An attraction that many can’t ignore,
Then I met you and the scent became unattractive.

Anything graced by your presence dies, be it tangible or not,
Clouds no longer hover above your head without producing lightening,
Before you love was magnificent,
Now I don’t even know what to think.

In my eyes loves color is lost,
An image it use to occupy in my mind
as long since faded,
Birds are now silent for they’ve lost their melodies and daylight has gone into hiding giving birth to only darkness.

The rhapsody lingers no more,
Silence remaining ever present,
You’re the sweetest soul I’d ever met,
But then you became the bitter devil I should’ve avoided.

© Xavier J. Frazer

Information and a Poem

So the haitus I took was much longer than I had expected, nonetheless during that time of self reflection, I have been working on two manuscripts simultaneously. Each manuscript upon completion will take on a life of it’s own.

The first will be befittingly titled DRIED ROSES; this book of poems speaks on matters relating to the pains and woes of being in a toxic relationship. With each gem that is penned the reader will be able to relate whether he/she has had similar experiences.

The second will be befittingly entitled UNORTHODOX MUSING; this book of poems will take you into world of an underserved youth, where anguish, frustration, death, Injustices amongst other things are ever present. With this book you will live through his eyes, die and be saved.

So be on the lookout for these upcoming collections. But before I go here’s a sip, a taste of what DRIED ROSES will be offering;

ABATTOIR

Her personality; abysmal,

An acerbic one

and like

acetylene It gave an ache,

And I was a sheep

to her abattoir.

My death came quick

and painless…

Then I was forgotten.

© Xavier J. Frazer

Greetings

I have been absent from my blogging it’s not even funny. I am back though, after going through a tidal wave of life, love and family issues. To my fellow bloggers be on the lookout for my new and exciting works. I do hope the New Year has been treating you all well.

Ghost To Myself

There’s many storms brewing

Yet, when I present myself to you,

I am as calm as the midday sea

I spend days fighting a never-ending battle,

A war I have no chance of winning.

I pretend to be who I am not

Trapped and restrained the real me,

I’ve have been hurt too many times to count

Injuries they’re overwhelming,

I sit sulking away over a bottle of gin & pineapple juice

Though they do nothing to numb this pain;

I succumbed to my emotions.

My outward appearance seems strong

Yet, behind closed doors, I am like a sponge submerged in water,

Reminiscing with tears as they lose grip of my water-based eyes

Heaven knows I have grown weary of putting on this show,

I tire of the scenes I play

And the all too familiar cast I know,

Still, I await these curtains to come down

Putting an end to this on-going fiasco;

Maybe then I will have some closure.

© Xavier J. Frazer

Its been awhile

Hey guys sorry for my absence, been extremely busy with life and all. I recently got married and I am currently working on two unfinished manuscript. But I will be posting poems, Bi-weekly starting tomorrow.

HI

Greetings one and all!

I have been absent from blogging for quite sometime, due to the fact that I have been working on my second book of poems. I promise to start blogging more frequently after I have gotten everything settled. 

With that being said i would like to offer my fellow Bloggers, Authors, Poets, Writers and all those who are following my blog and opportunity to read my first collection of poems for free. When I say free I  mean totally FREE!!! 

However I do ask that you kindly make an honest review about the collection on Amazon.com I would greatly appreciate it.

So you can contact me @xaydapoet@gmail.com and I will send the PDF to you via email. Or you can just comment your email in the comment section and I will do the rest.
One Love and Respect Everytime!!

5 star review by Toto O’tobi

​My book has been reviewed by a Nigerian writer. The review is a superbly magnificent one. Guys it’s long but trust me it’s worth the read. This is what he had to say;

“Xavier J. Frazer’s anthology titled Soul Cry is 139 pages of excellent poetry delivering effortlessly beautiful poetry with simple words that speaks to everyone. This is one poetry book that anybody will relate with. It’s comparable to Tolu Akinyemi’s Poetry for Dummies.

However, Soul Cry talks about deeper social issues than a dummy will want to think of.

From the very first poem, Soul Cry (page 17) talks about “a kind of hopelessness where even the truth is only a fabricated lie”, showing the pretense of living with smiles underneath a burdened mind. It’s the state of the world today. We’re all crying for answers but we have to wear a smile.

Race, Patriotism and Love
Footprints (page 21) and Black Lives Matter (page 133) and Black Women (page 129) celebrate the beauty of the black race and her resilience at having overcome multiple forms of injustice over centuries. However, Footprints is also a thought provoking piece on the unintended effects of slavery, like “black people now purchasing our shackles and chains at the stores”.
Click (page 23) and Thought (page 30) are high points in this anthology. While Click is a deep piece on social media and the intellectual drudgery it can cause, thought is a generalized poem that shows accurately the despair of society through the somber tone of the book.
Faces of Paradise (page 83) and Jamaica Cries (page 34) shows the patriotic cry of the writer’s soul. If this book was a musical recording, Paradise will be the B-side to Jamaica Cries.
Literary War (page 33) is the writer’s soul cry.
Language
The language is simple in this book, and I find that beautiful. Most poets fall into the trap of trying to use some complex form and assortment of words maybe in an effort to sound genius. This is a book that makes little effort in that regard. The language is easy to understand; it’s raw and ungarnished and makes no apologies for being raw and ungarnished. The poet uses this simplicity of language to bare out the soul in Soul Cry through this simple use of language. Also, the reader may or may not notice a few typographical errors, notably in Epitaph (page 46) and Black Lives Matter (page 105); those are the only two I saw.
Structure and Arrangement
The poems are not written to follow a particular metric order and the stanzas are irregular. Of course it does tell on the beauty of the poem but it doesn’t undermine the brilliance of the poet. Reading Soul Cry is like finding a rough uncut diamond the size of your head. It’s not polished, not sparkling on the shelf of a jewellery store but it’s still extremely valuable and it’s still a beautiful looking diamond.
High Points
Other noteworthy poems are Sun and Moon(page 54) which I consider a really good poem about how love can be beautiful when we know our roles in it. Prisoner of poverty and Warrior (page 133), A Poet (page 137) and An Idea (page 66).

Low Points

In my opinion, Concrete Rose (page 27) is the biggest low point of the anthology. In this poem, the writer simply descended to good rhymes alone. Also, it sounds like a not as brilliant imitation of Tupac Amaru Shakur’s 1993 poem, The Rose that Grew from Concrete. However, this doesn’t take away the brilliance from the book in it’s entirety.

It’s just one really low point out of over 60 poems. Epitaph (page 46) is also such an outstanding poem that I might consider having it on my tombstone when I die.

In conclusion, this is one of the best, maybe even the best anthology I have read in a long while.” ~ Toto O’tobi