Some days it feels like the walls are closing in
No one hears or listens to the pain I am in,
I wonder if I am cursed or perhaps I have committed an unholy sin.
Always tethered to take the loss,
Not even one chance at winning.
It’s hard to keep my thoughts in check
When all I do is overthink,
My mind always has it foot on the accelerator.
People who I thought would’ve held me down,
Tend to be the ones who has an hold of the knife in my back.
I can’t even breathe a breath of fresh air
the atmosphere of toxicity,
Is all that I live in.
Striving to live, yet still I am struggling,
Needing help but no fucks giving.
In this hell hole I keep sinking,
Quicker than quicksand.
I am dying to live.
Still, I have died living!
©️Xavier J. Frazer
So the haitus I took was much longer than I had expected, nonetheless during that time of self reflection, I have been working on two manuscripts simultaneously. Each manuscript upon completion will take on a life of it’s own.
The first will be befittingly titled DRIED ROSES; this book of poems speaks on matters relating to the pains and woes of being in a toxic relationship. With each gem that is penned the reader will be able to relate whether he/she has had similar experiences.
The second will be befittingly entitled UNORTHODOX MUSING; this book of poems will take you into world of an underserved youth, where anguish, frustration, death, Injustices amongst other things are ever present. With this book you will live through his eyes, die and be saved.
So be on the lookout for these upcoming collections. But before I go here’s a sip, a taste of what DRIED ROSES will be offering;
Her personality; abysmal,
An acerbic one
acetylene It gave an ache,
And I was a sheep
to her abattoir.
My death came quick
Then I was forgotten.
© Xavier J. Frazer
I have been absent from my blogging it’s not even funny. I am back though, after going through a tidal wave of life, love and family issues. To my fellow bloggers be on the lookout for my new and exciting works. I do hope the New Year has been treating you all well.
The hardest part about living is going through life not knowing who or what I am meant to be,
I keep trying to live up to people’s expectations of me,
For some I am a friend, a motivator, an inspiration or perhaps a
beacon of hope.
So many effort put into crafting and discovering myself just to end up lost,
In a time paradox of a multi complex universe
where dreams materialise and small corporations turn in to franchise,
Misled by a delusional illusion of my mind
Like the fact that the blood beneath my skin is blue and once it hits the open air it becomes red.
As if that wasn’t already a burden,
I am left to travel along this weary path with confused souls who are like ticking time bombs with very short fuses,
This is not your ordinary muse,
I am just an average guy who refuses to be conformed, contorted by this reality with no surety of what lies in the next.
It’s just a hit, smash or pass situation causing unwanted frustration,
Disguised in an awkward mobo jumbo of black and white complications
Where my sanity is a mess and is in need of constant sanitisation.
They say a beautiful mind is attractive,
How can I see the beauty of mine, when it’s in complete chaos?