Ghost To Myself

There’s many storms brewing

Yet, when I present myself to you,

I am as calm as the midday sea

I spend days fighting a never ending battle,

A war I have no chance at winning.

I pretend to be who I am not

Trapped and restrained the real me,

You’ve hurt me up so bad

Injuries they’re overwhelming,

I sit sulking away over a bottle of gin & pineapple juice

Though they do nothing to numb this pain;

I succumbed to my emotions.

My outward appearance seems strong

Yet, behind closed doors I am like a sponge submerged in water,

Reminiscing with tears as they lose grip of my water based eyes

Heaven knows I have grown weary of putting on this show,

I tire of the scenes I play

And the all too familiar cast I know,

Still, I await these curtains to come down

Putting an end to this un-going fiasco;

Maybe then I will have some closer.

© Xavier J. Frazer

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Its been awhile

Hey guys sorry for my absence, been extremely busy with life and all. I recently got married and I am currently working on two unfinished manuscript. But I will be posting poems, Bi-weekly starting tomorrow.

Lifeless

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She waits tirelessly for you
Led on by the false hope
that you reassure her by
She’s covered in scars
Scar’s that can’t be seen by the naked eye
She knows pain
excruciating pain
She’s battered and bruised by your lies
To the fact that she hides from the truth
Her heart its shattered beyond recognition
Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually
you tore her down
There’s no relief for the hurt she feels
Anaesthetic is useless when her soul is lifeless

Broken

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My heart lays before me, returned on the platter i served it on.
Nothing hurts more like rejection from the one i thought i understood.
I’ve lost the strength,
To linger and lust at the sound of your name.
I am done trying to get back with you,
All attempts were futile.
I’ve lost the race,
When all I needed was confidence to win.
You left me broken,
But broken is where I found my strength.
I loved you selflessly,
I got nothing in return for that.
I am done being your fool,
You rejected me, left me to see the worst.
All I gave you was my love,
Was it not enough?
We’re just fragments of what we use to be,
We’re now like a dissipated memory.
We’re like echo’s of a nightmare,
I’ve been cursed to live with.
Though I navigate through tortuous waters and have weathered unbelievable storms.
I am still beyond repair.

© Xavier Frazer

Separate Ways

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We’ve been at this for so long,
and it seems like it’s not going nowhere.
Sadly it’s me this time,
or perhaps it’s you.
Something is seriously wrong with our hearts,
they no longer beat as one.
We use to be like chlorine to water,
now we are like a desert without sun.
We fuss, we fight,
we argue every night.
We try to make it work,
That’s all we ever do.
We use to look through the same scope,
sadly we’ve lost all hope.
We went out our way to comfort each other,
it makes no sense.
Why do we even bother?
You once said ” I love my poems more than I love you”,
what you failed to understand you’re the one who inspired them.
My disgust for your annoyance is unfathomable,
only reason why I work your nerves,
I cheated to get back at you,
that was quite immature.
Here’s the cliché,
two wrongs don’t make anything right.
It’s pointless to render an eye for an eye,
all it does is continue this cycle of hurt.
Haven’t you notice the sun hasn’t shine our way in awhile,
causing a drought that has left our stream of compassion and love dry.
It’s better we come to a compromise,
a decision like this is hardest to make when feelings are still involved.
So let’s put our emotions a  side,
And go our separate ways.

© Xavier Frazer

Untitled

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I walked a thousand mile
alone,
no one to talk to.
Thinking about you,
all the wonderful times we had.
It was special and all,
but I guess you were just not meant for me.
I thought about calling you,
just to hear your voice.
If only hearing your voice,
would mend
this broken heart of mine.
Perhaps the taunting nightmares,
would cest to haunt me.
Dreams dissipated like,
reflections in water.
Fairy tales are fantasy’s of the mind,
a reality that constantly reminds me that your no longer mine.