DIED LIVING

Some days it feels like the walls are closing in

No one hears or listens to the pain I am in,

I wonder if I am cursed or perhaps I have committed an unholy sin.

Always tethered to take the loss,

Not even one chance at winning.

It’s hard to keep my thoughts in check

When all I do is overthink,

My mind always has it foot on the accelerator.

People who I thought would’ve held me down,

Tend to be the ones who has an hold of the knife in my back.

I can’t even breathe a breath of fresh air

the atmosphere of toxicity,

Is all that I live in.

Striving to live, yet still I am struggling,

Needing help but no fucks giving.

In this hell hole I keep sinking,

Quicker than quicksand.

I am dying to live.

Still, I have died living!

©️Xavier J. Frazer

LOVE EPIDEMIC

I survive everything meant to destroy me,

Yet, you’re the one I couldn’t avoid.

Like a victim, ailing from COVID-19

I have quarantine this pain,

Isolating all these disoriented emotions.

Like David vs Goliath,

I had to fight your giant of a love;

Though it appears I have won this battle,

It turns out I have lost the war.

You sold me a dream,

Then delivered me a nightmare.

You’ve acquired a front-row seat to my suffering,

Only thing remaining is my inevitable death,

And I can see the changes.

So much that I don’t face myself in the mirror,

Being Stephano DiMera;

Our situation was young and restless,

I felt like Bo from days of our lives,

I thought I would never lose Hope.

Being around you was the source of my strength,

Of late it felt like you’re kryptonite;

My weakness.

Fatigue taking over,

I hallucinate on the hour.

It feels like I am being persecuted by an unjust love,

Tortured by a heart that gave you its trust;

And I am at war with my whole being,

For nothing works in accordance with each other.

Now, the future I saw in your eyes,

As become this cursed reality I have to live by.

I wanted us to chase the stars together,

Using their connection to lasso the moon,

I am left to watch them go up in flames.

I blame myself,

I shouldn’t have given you more than your weight.

Now, the burden is overbearing,

And I am left in this miserable state.

©Xavier J. Frazer

Untitled

I walked a thousand mile
alone,
no one to talk to.
Thinking about you,
all the wonderful times we had.
It was special and all,
but I guess you were just not meant for me.
I thought about calling you,
just to hear your voice.
If only hearing your voice,
would mend
this broken heart of mine.
Perhaps the taunting nightmares,
would cest to haunt me.
Dreams dissipated like,
reflections in water.
Fairy tales are fantasy’s of the mind,
a reality that constantly reminds me that your no longer mine.