Dear Father

I wish I could say I love you
And actually mean it,
I hope your day is filled with misery.
I hope as you see my face,
Your organs begin to collide and the space between your lungs become clustered,
You are unable to breathe
and in those moments,
I will forget your face.
Father after you read this,
I hope it gets worse and
if your soul yearns for happiness,
I hope you remember,
I was the first step
when you chose to skate.
Last time we spoke,
You said “I am an ungrateful,
Good for nothing, son of a bitch.”
Who the fuck gave you that right?
If I am from you,
Do we not share that “son of a bitch”gene?
Am I not the blood that runs in your veins?
Was that what you really wanted to say?
You should’ve asked your self these questions,
“Where was I when my son needed a father?”
“Where was I when he became a man with two daughters?” Trying not to make the same mistake I did.
Father when I needed you
You needed yourself,
A clear illustration of selfishness.
I had to learn from a woman,
what it meant to be a man.
Not to say something
is wrong with that
But, she, she fathered me,
I bet you think I would say,
“It was just not the same”
Indeed, but better.
She taught me what makes a man, a man
And how to fend for myself
After, i realised.
That you did not deserve to be called a man,
You are a coward in the eyes of the brave,
A faceless creature of the night.
Father can’t you understand
You are as much as a failure
As you wished to see me be,
But, I learnt the art of becoming.
And that,
I was blessed with the soul of a survivor,
the black skin of a warrior
And you,
You are nothing to me.
But,
A dead beat father
A sperm donor
An absentee loner.
I am nothing like you,
The fact that I happen to share your last name,
Is a big misdemeanour,
With that being said,
Just call me Xavier.